I love this time of year. ‘Tis the season for graduations and weddings, and all things that grow and bloom. This weekend, I will witness my niece marry the love of her life. It got me thinking about the qualifications for spending the rest of our lives with someone. Let’s take a look at the different elements that make for good marriage material.
According to Jay Shetty, author of the book, 8 Rules of Love, there are factors that decide who we ultimately tie the knot with:
· We like their personality
· We want to commit to them
· We want to help them achieve their goals
· We are willing to sacrifice for them (I added that one 🙄)
Did you know that we spend about 40 hours with a person to call them a casual friend, 100 hours for a great friend, and about 200 hours for us to consider commitment?
If you’ve been married a while like me, (28 years this year!) sometimes you forget what brought you two together in the first place. You probably looked for a spouse with similar values to your own. Many times, there’s a quality that the other has that you really admire. Perhaps it is something that’s lacking in your own life. Or maybe you just have a lot in common and “get” each other.
Jay says, instead of looking for the perfect one, look for the person you want to make it work with. You’ll be dealing with the problems and stresses of everyday life. How does this person handle stress or conflict? How do they handle responsibility? If you’re married, and you’ve dealt with such things as overflowing toilets, car repairs, and teenagers acting out, then you know what I mean.
When you get married, it seems like you’ve reached the pinnacle of love but it’s only the beginning. Your love is like the tiny seedling that struggles with all its might to grow, though thin and vulnerable. Just like a plant needs water and sunlight, our relationship requires feeding and nurturing as well. Everything on earth is either living or dying, including your relationship. Think about that next time you are tempted to make that snarky comment to your partner. Take time to water and fertilize your flowers AND your relationship this weekend.
In the weeks to come, we’ll dive deeper into the love relationship, and explore elements such as communication, intimacy and boundaries. Stay tuned!
Get my FREE resource, “5 Ways to Connect With Your Spouse” as my thank you for reading.