Today I want to share a very important concept….
Your thoughts become your emotions,
Your emotions fuel your behaviors,
Your behaviors generate your attitude,
Your attitude ultimately leads to your outcome.
Let’s break that down, starting with your thoughts. Do you know that you have approximately 60,000 thoughts a day? And get this- most of them are repetitive!
Your thoughts are shaped by your past, the family you grew up in and your behaviors and beliefs you’ve held your entire life because you absorbed them before the age of 6!
Your behaviors are also influenced by your past or what you observed in your family of origin. They may be actions you’ve always done to achieve a certain result, and they may or may not have been effective.
The good news is you don’t have to be the way you’ve always been. You can rewire your brain and choose your thoughts. Let me say that again. You can choose your thoughts.
Here’s why you should care… You determine how people treat you. Treat them respectfully and they will open doors for you. Be rude or routinely miserable and people will avoid you.
Your attitude is like an energy force that surrounds you. What’s going on in the inside will show up on the outside. You are made up of energy, called matter and atoms, literally speaking. This force attracts or repels others.
You know the friend who barrels into a room, interrupts the conversation, and bombards you with all the mishaps of her morning? This is what we call a hot mess. Imagine Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown cartoons. When you’re in a bad mood, it’s like you have dirt and stink swarming around in your own personal tornado.
Conversely, if you attitude is one of love and gratitude, you’ll be surrounded by light and warmth and people are drawn toward you.
But how can you change this? What if you feel stuck in a thankless job, have no energy, kids are disrespectful, and/or you have no connection with your spouse?
Look back at the first line I gave you today. Your thoughts become your emotions…you must be so careful of the thoughts you dwell on. They can make you sick!
Depression, anxiety, overeating, alcoholism, inflammation can all be linked to a lack of mind management. That sounds harsh, I know. But I do know firsthand. If you take a thought and ruminate on it, what happens? It starts to command you, and….it may not even be true!
Let’s take the lack of couple connection from above. I could say, “I will never be happy in my marriage.” As a Christian, I have a responsibility to “take every thought captive before Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) Is the thought even true?? Have there been times when I have been happy? Of course! Will there be joyous occasions in the future? Do we laugh and talk on a daily basis, even if there are some disagreements? Yes and yes!!
We need to run every thought through the jury of our reason (the power of the mind to think, understand and form judgements by a process of logic-Oxford dictionary) and before our God, the ultimate judge.
Because if we follow that negative thought, where does it lead? I start to feel the emotions of sadness, discouragement, and that leads to my actions…maybe I build up walls so I won’t have to hurt, maybe I escape into Netflix at night, instead of trying to connect, because I have believed the lie that I will never be happy. Do you see how easy it is to convince ourselves of something that ultimately produces a negative outcome?
How will my husband and kids respond to the energy force I am carrying around the house, based on the above scenario?
How do we begin to change our thoughts?
We must first change our language. Words become flesh, so speak and think life-giving words of gratitude and hope. We must begin to challenge thoughts. We ask, is this true 100% of the time? Is there any good in this situation? Will it get better with effort and perseverance?
Next, we need a new script. A script uses intentionally crafted language to rewire our mindset. The script brings in words of hope, allows for error, even failure at times, and believes that you deserve all good things, and that life is working for your growth, not your demise. (“I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.”- Jeremiah 29:11)
Using the examples above, I can turn the thought, “I will never be happy in this marriage,” to “I choose to serve my husband in good times and in bad, and all marriages have both.”
Here are 10 steps to thought management….
1. Avoid generalizations like always or never. They’re probably not true all the time. Be honest in fairness to others. Ex: You always keep me waiting when we go out.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Ex: your friend didn’t call when they said they would. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they got busy…maybe they were on the phone with a doctor’s office or a parent.
3. Manage your ability to absorb negative energy. Avoid gossip when you hear it. It’s none of our business, and diminishes our own integrity and self-worth, because we don’t feel good after doing it.
4. Protect your mind from negative people. If it’s someone you live with, speak up and say, “I’m trying to work on not being negative, and the way you’re speaking right now is hindering my progress.”
5. Begin to cross examine your thoughts several times a day. Are they true? What emotion is that thought leading to? How can I rewire it?
6. Focus on gratitude and the good, true and beautiful in every situation.
7. Be quick to give grace and forgiveness to those around you. We are certainly not perfect ourselves.
8. See growth opportunities in every situation and celebrate them.
9. Cultivate the virtues of hope and patience. Did you know you could will virtue?
10. Choose your words carefully when you speak. Words become flesh.
Be aware of your presence around others. Are you the hot mess whose destructive effects are felt by those closest to you? Or do you want to bring warmth, love and peace? Start by managing your thoughts. You get to choose what to think!
Happy Easter! 🐣✝️